Saturday, July 15th, 2017

With Older People With A Heart That Never Gets Old

February 22, 2011 by  
Filed under CNA Training

I can not remember when I started writing, or even remember when I stopped. I am writing this just to make sure I will not forget. I never wanted to be a nurse, not at all, but fate would play, I was one. Time flies, it probably is. I have been in the neck several med reached many wounds treated by Gore (not really), literally crammed with the leaves of the Association of Physicians. If only I could explain, no doubt my list would stretch a mile or two. When I was a student, I felt that right after graduation, I’ll rake dollars in my yard, but to get where I am right now, there were many things, some of I have to work them hard, some were given to me easily. Please do not misunderstand, I have no room for complaints. I just want to remember and justify where I am now is where I belong, and this brings me to my story.

I was a floater, almost 2 years. I never mind putting the elderly patient is Shroud of the bag. My impression was neither of these elderly people related to my Creator in peace. I always turn a poker face of a nursing assistant to call and say that Mrs.Jones Mr.Smith or simply decided not to open their eyes and respond in a day. They are automatically pulls in my not so reliable automated vital signs named Rosie, although I have a page that precedes Code Blue. You get a crash cart, I’m going to bark orders to give me the oxygen tank when one goes the other layers just to make me a mask or humidifier bottle.

Call a code means to be an army. Someone call the 911th One is to prepare the crash cart, a second is preparing for CPR. This cycle continues and most of the time, our favorite bag not far from the power plant. Social worker comes in. I feel bad for them sometimes to break the news to families. My tear ducts stopped working for a good sometime.For like me, almost crying for something, it is very rare not to cry when I need. I would always rationalize it. The reason is because I was a floater.

Nursing home, where, when people feel “at home” is something I took seriously. For me it was approved by the grandparents rather than do my best to help. Basically, I could not remember any color of their pills, how and when they want them. There are moments, most of them are like little children throwing tantrums. Some of them have advanced dementia, forgetful, and episodes of confusion, sliding and falling elsewhere.

I cried the other day, while in the bathroom of one of my residents. I have to run quickly to the sink and wipe my tears because I did not make him feel that I really him.I saw him in a lamentable state of trying to eat lunch. I do not want to offend him by taking a spoon full and just push the food into the mouth with only a few days in hospital, he was emaciated.His faculties were still intact, he knows I am his “muñeca “(doll in Spanish). He saw almost nothing because of his ptosis, all he sees are twofold. His blood pressure skyrockets without warning. He has difficulty swallowing and a few days, I know that his swallowing reflex will be present. He keeps saying “Te Quiero ..” Knowing him, he will never give to have a feeding tube to keep her and thus advance directives.

In my broken Spanish, I tried to communicate that should not stand by itself, try to call someone if they need to go to the bathroom because you can break a hip.

I know that at that time was not receptive to that. Earlier, down and hope it is deleted in its place. I am convinced that I answered and said: “I love you” too.

He was my captain, he stands with his laugh and gets angry when he had no milk in her Lactaid tray.He always return to his room after lunch, take a nap while listening to classical music. It was he who gave me two pieces of Hershey’s Nuggets in exchange for the three pills he received in the morning. I bid him farewell in the afternoon and told him that I will visit him the next day. Before I went, he fought his way back into his wheelchair and went to the ref. He pulled out something and opened a bag of Hershey’s Nuggets, I said give me two pieces just because it makes me “Gordo” (Spanish word for fat) already, and he can give me the next day When I visit him again. It was a Thursday, and I know somehow it will soon return to the hospital or worse, it could be in the bag instead of feared.

I got a call last night was my friend and colleague, she wants to give me a bag of chocolates from a patient.It he was. He said to give “peanuts.” I can not help, but I began to mourn. Maybe he was saying goodbye already.Maybe want to leave a piece of it if I could not forget his face, like many other faces wrinkled in the nursing home. And maybe it was sending a message that eating chocolate will I be able to last all day with a smile.

I never had the chance to know who he really was. I wanted to remember him captain, I have always the greeting, which in so much pain, but still manages to say “I’m fine.” when ever I ask, although it is clear that he is not. E ‘state for a second day and can not even open my eyes to the next, a constant reminder of how life is always a surprise for us.

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